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Showing posts from November, 2015

VOTE NOW: Who should win the Ballon d'Or?

Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar are this year's contenders for the Ballon d'Or having been named on Fifa's three-man shortlist - but who do you think deserves the prize?

Messi, Neymar & Ronaldo make Ballon d'Or shortlist

Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar will contest the 2015 Ballon d'Or competition after the shortlist was whittled down from 23 names to just three.

Nuno Espirito Santo resigns as Valencia manager

Nuno Espirito Santo has resigned as Valencia manager following the side’s 1-0 defeat by Sevilla in La Liga.
Valencia currently sit ninth in La Liga with five wins from their five games, and are five points off the top four.
Nuno led Valencia back into the Champions League with a fourth-place finish last season and they currently sit third in Group H, a point behind Gent, going into the final game.

Roma suffer home loss against Atalanta in Serie A

Roma’s bad week ended on a sour note as Atalanta condemned them to a 2-0 defeat at the Stadio Olimpico.
Rudi Garcia’s Giallorossi were thrashed 6-1 by Barcelona in the Champions League, and while the French coach was given a vote of confidence heading into this Serie A game, the performance and result may inspire a rethink.

Akpors the troublesome student

Akpors was taking his final exams one day, he had spent the previous day watching movies and did not prepare for his exams but as soon as he heard ‘10mins more’, he got an idea of the essay answers from his friend and started to write really fast.
After 10mins everyone was asked to submit but Akpors ignored the lecturer and kept writing fast. After he was done the class was already empty, he walked to the lecturer to submit his paper but the lecturer refused to accept it.
Frustrated, Akpors looked at the lecturer sternly and asked ‘do you know my name?’
Lecturer: I don’t know you and frankly, I don’t care.
Akpors: (Still looking very serious) Sir, are you sure you don’t know who I am?
Lecturer: (Wondering if he was the son of someone important) No, I really have no idea, who are you?
Akpors: Hahahaha, very good!
Akpors quickly puts his answer sheet in the middle of the other scripts on the table and then scatters everything on the floor. He then runs out and shouts to the lecturer ‘Oy…

RUMOURS: Pep Guardiola sees Manchester United as next destination

Pep Guardiola has been linked with several major managerial jobs, but his first priority would be the Manchester United post, according to theDaily Telegraph.
Guardiola's contract at Bayern Munich expires at the end of the 2015-16 season and there is no indication yet that the Catalan coach is set to continue in the job.
Bayern are planning to sign a new contract with Pep over the winter break, but according to theTelegraphthe club recognises that he would love the chance to manage at Old Trafford once Van Gaal leaves.

JOKE: It totally serves Akpors right this time, don’t you think?

This Akpors is just a stupid boy o. Hear him narrate his experience in the exam hall, as he refused to read and prepare himself for his exams.
AKPORS: As I bounced into the Exam hall,I had just one prayer on my mind, which is ‘God please let me sit near a person that knows book,cos the stupid boy i told to send me the answers on my phone looks like one who doesn’t have sense.’
God finally answered my prayer,the girl that i sat with was an Albino and she wore eyeglass that has rope, so i knew for sure that she knows book wella.
As the paper started, this girl started to misbehave o. She was just covering her answers, but me as a sharp guy,i was spying the answer from one deadly angle.
When it remained just 10 minutes to go, this girl caught me copying her and started shouting at me, but i just ignored her, since i had almost copied finish.
The next thing that i heard was my phone’s message tone and i thought to myself ‘This guy has finally sent the answer’ I sighed and then told the in…

UPDATE: Pope Francis arrives in Uganda on second leg of Africa tour

Pope Francis landed in Uganda Friday on the second leg of a landmark trip to Africa, with choirs and dancers waiting to greet him, an AFP reporter said.
Francis arrived in Uganda after three days in neighbouring Kenya, where vast crowds turned out to an open air mass, and where the pontiff lashed out at corruption and wealthy minorities who hoard resources at the expense of the poor. Francis travels to Central African Republic (CAR) on Sunday.

Suicide bomber hits Muslim procession in Kano

A suicide bomber on Friday blew himself up among crowds in a Shia Muslim procession in the village of Dakasoye, on the outskirt of Kano, organisers of the procession said.
“It’s a huge crowd so it’s too early to give a precise figure of casualties,” one of the organisers said of the blast in the village of Dakasoye, some 20 kilometres (13 miles) south of the city.

Varane out with thigh injury, Madrid confirm

Real Madrid have confirmed that Raphael Varane suffered a thigh muscle injury during Wednesday's Champions League win over Shakhtar Donetsk.

LG Introduces LG16 – The Cheapest Android Ever At N2000

Most of you must have heard about the LG16 on walmart. if not read on. Its true these LG devices LG16 and LG15G are being sold at $9.82 on walmart.
Not everyone wants to buy a smart phone with high price and this is what LG had in mind hence made the Tracfone LG prepaid lucky LG16 and LG15G this has to be the cheap android smart phone we’ve ever seen and its being sold on Walmart.
Top Features:
Display 3.8-inch
Operating system 4.4 kit kat
Camera 3MP
Powered by : 1.2GHz dual core
Battery:1560mAh
Comes with 4GB external memory
3G and bluetooth enabled

Skye Bank launches online shop, YesMall

Skye Bank Plc has unveiled an online store for the sale of mainly made-in-Nigeria products and services.
The new online store, called YesMall, offers a unique experience for the bank’s current and prospective SME and retail customers who can buy and sell their products and services from the comfort of their homes by using electronic devices such as phones, tablet, laptop, or desktop.

Lagos court remands 5 women charged for prostitution, bail is granted

Five women have been arraigned before a Lagos State magistrates’ court for allegedly engaging in prostitution in Ikoyi area of Lagos State.
The accused persons, Helen Ugwu, 33, Chika Okoro, 40, Roseline Jebba, 43, Sandra Akomake, 58, and Udega Theresa, 61, were ordered arrested by the divisional police officer in charge of Ikoyi division, Eti Osa, Lagos, SP Mustapha Tijani.

Akpors is a very unserious person

Akpors farts (pollutes the air) in the classroom and his teacher gets really angry and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class.
The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing.
PRINCIPAL: “Akpors, what are you doing outside sitting here laughing?”
AKPORS: “I messed (farted) in the class and the teacher threw me out.”
PRINCIPAL: “Well then, why are you laughing?”
AKPORS: “Because they are in class taking in the smell while I’m here enjoying the fresh air.”
ONE WORD FOR AKPORS THIS TIME?

Haba, what a mother!

A 18-year-old girl got PREGNANT.
Her angry mother says: “Who’s the pig? Call him…”
About 30 minutes later, a limousine car stops in front of their house & a mature grey haired man in a very expensive suit steps out.
Man: “Ur daughter has informed me of the problem, however, I can’t marry her. But if a girl is born, I offer a villa & 2 million dollars. If a boy is born, den 2 factories & 5 million dollars. But in case of miscarriage, what do u suggest I do?”
Mother: “IMPREGNATE HER AGAIN”!!!

JOKE: Hahahaha…Just know that you are on your own

Akpors dialed a police emergency number to report a crime:
Akpors: Hello!
Response: Yes hello… who I’m I speaking to?
Akpors: Is this the police?!
Response: Yes. Any problem?
Akpors: Yes! I’m calling to report a case of robbery in my neighbourhood. They’re five in numbers and all armed with sub-machine guns and bombs!
Response: If you like this ringtone, press one to copy.
Akpors: Jesu!!!

PSG ready mammoth Ronaldo offer

PSG will offer Cristiano Ronaldo £250,000-a-week AFTER tax in an effort to lure him to the French capital. Manchester United are also keen on the Portuguese star, but that offer would be the equivalent of £500,000-a-week in England pre-tax.

No Liverpool return for Gerrard

Steven Gerrard has ruled out returning to Liverpool on loan from LA Galaxy this winter.
Source: BT Sport

STORY STORY: Man chokes girlfriend because she refused to hug him during vacation

A man has been arrested for choking his girlfriend in her sleep because she refused to hug during their vacation.
According to Police in the United Kingdom, the 40-year-old man, Tom Johnson from Sheffield picked up a 200 hours of community service sentence after pleading guilty to assault for choking Rebecca Milton.

Photo Of The Day:- As A Nigerian Man, Can You Do This?

Huh?

WITH AN AMBITION: Photo Of Girl Who Sells Groundnut By Road Side Doing Her Home Work

This should be inspiring to everyone who come up with excuses to sell their bodies or do drugs on the streets of Lagos.
You can actually make it the legit way. This little girl’s future is very bright.

SHORO NIYEN: Unilorin Set To Use Drones For Exam Monitoring And Surveillance

If the authorities of the University of Ilorin accede to suggestions by members of the institution’s Drone Team, it is highly probable that the University will, in future, monitor examinations conducted within the campus with drones.

Ramos & Marcelo out of Madrid squad

Sergio Ramos and Marcelo have been left out of the Real Madrid squad for Wednesday's Champions League trip to Shakhtar Donetsk.

Coquelin suffers injury blow

Arsenal midfielder Francis Coquelin is expected to be ruled out until at least January after suffering ligament damage to his knee.

Iheanacho ruled out of African U23 Championship

Manchester City’s Kelechi Iheanacho has been ruled out of the 2015 African U23 Championship in Senegal, coach Samson Siasia has revealed.

Buffon names Casillas as the best goalkeeper of his era

Gianluigi Buffon believes Iker Casillas has been the best goalkeeper of his era but feels Peter Cech is the “most complete overall” over the past three years.

See Atiku Abubakar’s Birthday Message To Goodluck Jonathan @58

Former Nigerian president, Goodluck Jonathan who celebrated his 58th birthday yesterday, November 20, got a birthday wish from Nigerian politician, businessman and philanthropist, Atiku Abubakar earlier in the day.
Earlier in the day, Atiku took to his Facebook account saying:
“Happy birthday Dr. Goodluck Jonathan, our former president, democrat and patriot. Wishing you many happy returns.”
As if that was not enough, he went further to his twitter account, sending the same message.
See his posts below:

Zidane to replace Benitez

Reports claim that Zinedine Zidane will be asked to replace Rafa Benitez if the current Madrid boss loses El Clasico. Zidane is reluctant to take over a team mid-season, but club chief Florentino Perez will try to convince him otherwise.

Aguero overtakes Tevez to become highest-scoring South American in Premier League history

Sergio Aguero's first-half strike against Liverpool has seen him leapfrog Carlos Tevez to become the Premier League's highest-scoring South American.

West Brom 2-1 Arsenal: Arteta own goal sinks Gunners

Mikel Arteta's own goal consigned Arsenal to a 2-1 defeat against West Brom that gives Manchester City the chance to take sole ownership of top spot in the Premier League.

BREAKING: Mitchel Platini May Be Banned For 6 Years - FIFA

UEFA president, Mitchel Platini risks being banned from all football related activities in FIFA's latest investigations which is to be released in the coming week.
The former Juventus player along with his FIFA outgoing president, Sepp Blatter are currently serving a 90-day suspension, for the period both would be investigated, and results will be made known to the world.
The sanctions for the FIFA and UEFA presidents respectively will be revealed in the coming weeks.

OMG: See How Exams Are Written In Covenant University..

During the exam, the person that didn’t prepare will just be calculating how many units he would do next year..

Fountain University, Osogbo Closed Indefinitely After Rampage

Fountain University, Osogbo has been closed down indefinitely and students sent home after they went on rampage.

ASUP Gets New President

Mr Usman Dutse has been elected the new president of the Academic Staff Union of Polytechnics (ASUP).
He will succeed Mr Chibuzo Asomugba.
It was learnt that Dutse was declared winner at the 13th National Delegate Conference in Bida, Niger State by the ASUP Electoral Committee Chairman, Mr Precious Nwakodo.

EXPECTING: AKA to unveil his own line of headphones and speakers

South African rapper, AKA has inked a headphones and speaker deal with ‘Rocka’ and is set to unveil his own line of the luxury speakers.

Too funny…Checkout this letter Akpors wrote to his nephew.

Dear Mike,
I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your Daddy read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 5 kilometres away from our home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn’t have to change their address.
This place is really nice. I even have a washing machine. I’m not sure it works so well, though, last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven’t seen it since.
The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week, the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send, your Mummy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Emeka locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your Daddy out. Your sister…

JOKE: AKPORS: Like father, like son

Akpors and his father were visiting the shopping mall for the first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. Akpors asked his father,
AKPORS: “Daddy what is this?”
His father [never having seen an elevator] responded;
DAD: “Akpors, I have never seen anything like this in my life before, I don’t know what it is.”
While Akpors and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old woman of 72 years of age walked towards the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the woman rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and Akpors and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful young woman of 22 years of age stepped out.
Akpors’ father said to him,
DAD: “Run fast, go and bring your mother.”

JOKE: Who made the smartest choice, Akpors or the other guys?

Three black men, Akpors and co were getting ready to take a plane trip for the first time.
FIRST MAN: “I don’t know about the two of you but I am going to wear some pink boxers before I get on that plane.”
AKPORS AND THE OTHER GUY:’Why are you going to wear them?’.
FIRST MAN: “Because, if that plane crashes, and I’m out there lying down, they are going to find me first.”
SECOND MAN: “Well, I am going to wear some orange boxers.”
AKPORS AND THE OTHER GUY: Why are you going to wear them?” They asked.
SECOND MAN: “Because if the plane crashes, and I’m floating with my buttocks up in the ocean, they will see me first.”
AKPORS: “Well, I am not going to wear any boxers.”
THE OTHER GUYS: “What? No boxers?” They asked in disbelief.
AKPORS: “That’s right honourables, you heard me right. I am not going to wear any boxers because if this plane crashes, they will look for the black box first.”

Korede Bello returns to school for HND

Mavin records artiste, Korede Bello has gone back to school for his Higher National Diploma (HND).
The singer of ‘Godwin’ fame took to his instagram page and shared photos from his matriculation ceremony at the Nigeria Institute of Journalism (NIJ).