IJAB Nigeria

Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar are this year's contenders for the Ballon d'Or having been named on Fifa's three-man shortlist - but who do you think deserves the prize?

Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar will contest the 2015 Ballon d'Or competition after the shortlist was whittled down from 23 names to just three.

The Nigerian Air Force has released the promotion of its senior officers to the next higher ranks. The newly promoted officers include 14 Air Vice Marshals, 26 Air Commodores, 22 Group Captains and 91 Wing Commanders.

[Chorus] And am in love with my baby She my lady, the girl amazing She cork it up on a niggha crazy Am in love with my baby Is she in love with me maybe

The All Progressives Congress, APC, Lagos State has thrown its massive weight behind Governor Akinwunmi Ambode for making the issue of security of lives and property in Lagos the number one priority.

Nigerian actor Ali Nuhu has debunked the rumour that he is dead. The popular actor was rumoured to have been killed by armed robbers who reportedly attacked him at his residence in Kano.

Neymar believes Barcelona’s front three, comprising himself, Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez, deserve to make up the Ballon d’Or podium.

Nuno Espirito Santo has resigned as Valencia manager following the side’s 1-0 defeat by Sevilla in La Liga. Valencia currently sit ninth in La Liga with five wins from their five games, and are five points off the top four. Nuno led Valencia back into the Champions League with a fourth-place finish last season and they currently sit third in Group H, a point behind Gent, going into the final game.

Gunmen wounded a senior army commander in western Burundi, a military spokesperson said on Sunday, with at least four killed in following clashes.

Radical Islamist group Boko Haram is suspected of being behind the killing of 13 people in two attacks in northern Cameroon, a military source said on Sunday.

President Muhammadu Buhari has cancelled the weekly meeting of the Federal Executive Council (FEC) meeting, which was introduced during the tenure of former President Olusegun Obasanjo.

Niger Tornadoes are the champions of the Nigeria National League (NNL) following their 1-0 win over Plateau United in the Super 4 finals on Sunday in Abuja.

Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo scored at the latter end of either half as Real Madrid overcame a testing match at Eibar to win 2-0.

Roma’s bad week ended on a sour note as Atalanta condemned them to a 2-0 defeat at the Stadio Olimpico. Rudi Garcia’s Giallorossi were thrashed 6-1 by Barcelona in the Champions League, and while the French coach was given a vote of confidence heading into this Serie A game, the performance and result may inspire a rethink.

Akpors was taking his final exams one day, he had spent the previous day watching movies and did not prepare for his exams but as soon as he heard ‘10mins more’, he got an idea of the essay answers from his friend and started to write really fast. After 10mins everyone was asked to submit but Akpors ignored the lecturer and kept writing fast. After he was done the class was already empty, he walked to the lecturer to submit his paper but the lecturer refused to accept it. Frustrated, Akpors looked at the lecturer sternly and asked ‘do you know my name?’ Lecturer: I don’t know you and frankly, I don’t care. Akpors: (Still looking very serious) Sir, are you sure you don’t know who I am? Lecturer: (Wondering if he was the son of someone important) No, I really have no idea, who are you? Akpors: Hahahaha, very good! Akpors quickly puts his answer sheet in the middle of the other scripts on the table and then scatters everything on the floor. He then runs out and shouts to the lectur...

The final three-man shortlist for the 2015 FIFA Ballon d’Or will be revealed on Monday afternoon. Twenty-three players were nominated for the prestigious award by world football’s governing body and France Football magazine in October.

The National Association of Hides and Skin Dealers of Nigeria has called on the Federal Government to ban importation of shoes to encourage local shoe industries in the country.

President, Dangote Group of Companies, Alhaji Aliko Dangote, has pledged to construct a 500 megawatt power plant for Kano, Katsina, Jigawa and Kaduna states.

A woman is set to marry her daughter’s ex boyfriend in the United Kingdom and the daughter has indicated she will not be attending the wedding.

Pep Guardiola has been linked with several major managerial jobs, but his first priority would be the Manchester United post, according to theDaily Telegraph. Guardiola's contract at Bayern Munich expires at the end of the 2015-16 season and there is no indication yet that the Catalan coach is set to continue in the job. Bayern are planning to sign a new contract with Pep over the winter break, but according to theTelegraphthe club recognises that he would love the chance to manage at Old Trafford once Van Gaal leaves.

Paris Saint-Germain made it nine successive Ligue 1 victories with a confident 4-1 win over bottom club Troyes in their first home game since November 13’s terror attacks on their city.

Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy set a new Premier League record for scoring in consecutive matches, but a 1-1 draw at home to Manchester United meant they relinquished top spot in the table to Manchester City on goal difference.

This Akpors is just a stupid boy o. Hear him narrate his experience in the exam hall, as he refused to read and prepare himself for his exams. AKPORS: As I bounced into the Exam hall,I had just one prayer on my mind, which is ‘God please let me sit near a person that knows book,cos the stupid boy i told to send me the answers on my phone looks like one who doesn’t have sense.’ God finally answered my prayer,the girl that i sat with was an Albino and she wore eyeglass that has rope, so i knew for sure that she knows book wella. As the paper started, this girl started to misbehave o. She was just covering her answers, but me as a sharp guy,i was spying the answer from one deadly angle. When it remained just 10 minutes to go, this girl caught me copying her and started shouting at me, but i just ignored her, since i had almost copied finish. The next thing that i heard was my phone’s message tone and i thought to myself ‘This guy has finally sent the answer’ I sighed and then told th...

The World Health Organization (WHO) is to distribute about 4.5 million insecticide treated mosquito nets to the people in both Oyo and Akwa-Ibom states.

One of the nation’s renowned pop artists, Sound Sultan, on Friday disclosed that there was so much money to be made from the entertainment industry.

Pope Francis landed in Uganda Friday on the second leg of a landmark trip to Africa, with choirs and dancers waiting to greet him, an AFP reporter said. Francis arrived in Uganda after three days in neighbouring Kenya, where vast crowds turned out to an open air mass, and where the pontiff lashed out at corruption and wealthy minorities who hoard resources at the expense of the poor. Francis travels to Central African Republic (CAR) on Sunday.

A suicide bomber on Friday blew himself up among crowds in a Shia Muslim procession in the village of Dakasoye, on the outskirt of Kano, organisers of the procession said. “It’s a huge crowd so it’s too early to give a precise figure of casualties,” one of the organisers said of the blast in the village of Dakasoye, some 20 kilometres (13 miles) south of the city.

Real Madrid have confirmed that Raphael Varane suffered a thigh muscle injury during Wednesday's Champions League win over Shakhtar Donetsk.

The Nigerian Navy has arrested 11 crew members of a vessel, MT Camille, laden with about 4,000 metric tonnes of suspected stolen crude oil at Forcados in Delta State.

An Ikeja Magistrates’ Court on Friday sentenced a 32-year-old clearing agent, Olabamiji Samson, to two years imprisonment over a N320,000 fraud.

The International Institute for Training, Research and Economic Development (IITRED) has awarded prizes to three Nigerian researchers for developing typhoid fever vaccine, micro-needles and anti-snake venom respectively.

Most of you must have heard about the LG16 on walmart. if not read on. Its true these LG devices LG16 and LG15G are being sold at $9.82 on walmart. Not everyone wants to buy a smart phone with high price and this is what LG had in mind hence made the Tracfone LG prepaid lucky LG16 and LG15G this has to be the cheap android smart phone we’ve ever seen and its being sold on Walmart. Top Features: Display 3.8-inch Operating system 4.4 kit kat Camera 3MP Powered by : 1.2GHz dual core Battery:1560mAh Comes with 4GB external memory 3G and bluetooth enabled

The Lagos State University has received the accreditation from National University Commission for 11 out of 20 of its undergraduate and postgraduate programmes.

The Joint Admission And Matriculation Board (JAMB) has rejected the recommendation by the senate that UTME Results should be valid for 3 years. This was made know by the Registrar of JAMB, Prof. Dibu Ojerinde, Abuja during the opening ceremony of JAMB-UNEB Benchmark on Item Banking.

One of the telecommunica­tions service providers in the country, Airtel Nigeria has launched a mobile education plat­form designed to enhance learning experience of children from age five to 16 years across the country.

Skye Bank Plc has unveiled an online store for the sale of mainly made-in-Nigeria products and services. The new online store, called YesMall, offers a unique experience for the bank’s current and prospective SME and retail customers who can buy and sell their products and services from the comfort of their homes by using electronic devices such as phones, tablet, laptop, or desktop.

Union Bank of Nigeria Plc. has appointed Mr. Cyril Odu as Chairman of the Board of Directors following the resignation of previous Chairman, Senator Udoma Udo Udoma, who was recently appointed Minister of Budget and National Planning by President Muhammadu Buhari.

President of the Senate, Dr. Abubakar Bukola Saraki, has described as touching the death of the Chairman, Benue State Traditional Council and paramount ruler of the Tiv Kingdom, the Tor Tiv, Alfred Akawe Torkula.

Two men, who allegedly gang-raped a 21-year-old lady on Thursday appeared before an Ikeja Magistrates’ Court. The accused are a trader, Adeniyi Gidado, 25, who lives at 5, Osanyinpeju St., Agege, Lagos and Simeon Nwaugo, 25, also a trader, who lives at 9, Akeem Boye St., Iju-Ishaga, near Lagos.

An Ikeja Magistrates’ Court on Thursday remanded a 30-year-old unemployed man, Emmanuel Ijoko, in Kirikiri Prisons for stealing a pair of jeans trousers valued at N3,500.

Moroccan police have arrested three people suspected of belonging to a militant cell with ties to the Islamic State group, the interior ministry said on Thursday.

FIFA’s ethics watchdog has rejected suspended President Sepp Blatter’s claim that he is not subject to its rules and that only Congress can bar him from his role as head of the scandal-plagued global soccer body.

Five women have been arraigned before a Lagos State magistrates’ court for allegedly engaging in prostitution in Ikoyi area of Lagos State. The accused persons, Helen Ugwu, 33, Chika Okoro, 40, Roseline Jebba, 43, Sandra Akomake, 58, and Udega Theresa, 61, were ordered arrested by the divisional police officer in charge of Ikoyi division, Eti Osa, Lagos, SP Mustapha Tijani.

Popular Nigerian rapper and YBNL boss, Olamide has lost his father to the cold hands of death. The rapper who recently released his 5th studio album “Eyan Mayweather” broke the news via his Instagram.

Akpors farts (pollutes the air) in the classroom and his teacher gets really angry and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class. The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. PRINCIPAL: “Akpors, what are you doing outside sitting here laughing?” AKPORS: “I messed (farted) in the class and the teacher threw me out.” PRINCIPAL: “Well then, why are you laughing?” AKPORS: “Because they are in class taking in the smell while I’m here enjoying the fresh air.” ONE WORD FOR AKPORS THIS TIME?

A 18-year-old girl got PREGNANT. Her angry mother says: “Who’s the pig? Call him…” About 30 minutes later, a limousine car stops in front of their house & a mature grey haired man in a very expensive suit steps out. Man: “Ur daughter has informed me of the problem, however, I can’t marry her. But if a girl is born, I offer a villa & 2 million dollars. If a boy is born, den 2 factories & 5 million dollars. But in case of miscarriage, what do u suggest I do?” Mother: “IMPREGNATE HER AGAIN”!!!

Akpors dialed a police emergency number to report a crime: Akpors: Hello! Response: Yes hello… who I’m I speaking to? Akpors: Is this the police?! Response: Yes. Any problem? Akpors: Yes! I’m calling to report a case of robbery in my neighbourhood. They’re five in numbers and all armed with sub-machine guns and bombs! Response: If you like this ringtone, press one to copy. Akpors: Jesu!!!

PSG will offer Cristiano Ronaldo £250,000-a-week AFTER tax in an effort to lure him to the French capital. Manchester United are also keen on the Portuguese star, but that offer would be the equivalent of £500,000-a-week in England pre-tax.

Steven Gerrard has ruled out returning to Liverpool on loan from LA Galaxy this winter. Source: BT Sport

Barcelona superstar Lionel Messi was delighted to play 90 minutes on his return to the starting XI as his side thrashed Roma 6-1 in the Champions League.

Former Bayern Munich star and German international Lothar Matthaus said there is a problem brewing between Robert Lewandowski and Arjen Robben.

The Police in Lagos on Wednesday killed five suspected armed robbers and arrested one with bullets wounds. Police sources told newsmen in Ikeja that the suspects had engaged policemen from Elemoro Division, Ajah in Ibeju-Lekki Local Government Area in a shootout where they were killed.

A man in the United Kingdom has been arrested for killing his girlfriend by stuffing her into a suitcase and throwing her into a canal alive.

A woman in the United Kingdom has been arrested for pouring anti-freeze into her husband’s wine because he didn’t accept her daughter’s boyfriend.

Where an explosion struck a bus carrying members of the presidential guard in the capital Tunis. At least 12 people were killed and 20 wounded. It’s the third major attack in the country this year.

[Hook] Onimo kere Tima fun lowo kan pere Lowo kan pere Oma pemi toba dele Pemi toba dele Toba dele Toba pe adoshe Toba pe adoshe

[Intro] Call me small doctor akewe je oga nla Jaypizzle production Olamide Baddo [Chorus] Inside my ghetto you know Pastor mu oti yo Omota ya ni photo you know Lojo sunday nile ijosin you know

yeah Alhaji Tekno Baby oh Oh na oh na na na Onye olima [Verse 1 – Tekno] See na love I dey see for your eyes oh yeh I love you baby I no think am twice Your beauty makes me to realize Say Nepa don bring light

Legendary beat Le-le legendary beat Legendary beat Le-le legendary beat [Verse 1] I get girl for my yard Wey get big big backa Wey dey make me feel amazing girl I get one wey dey give me things I need ah ahn

[Chorus] Eh eh eh eh eh eh… Omo I hold o Ah ah ah ah ah ahn… Shey you know Eh eh eh eh eh eh… Omo I hold o Ah ah ah ah ah ahn… Shey you know

[Verse 1] Love is what I see When I look at you You’re my fantasy You’re my baby boo Dance kerewa Genevieve My love is true Say make we give them makossa oh eh Girl makossa eh eh

Eh yeh eh ha ha ha Ah one ah two ah three let’s go [Hook] Applaudise The way you thief my heart away Oyokoyo Applaudise Baby na love eh na love eh ba Applaudise The way you thief my heart away

Pheelz Mr. Producer Wo ni esu gbenu mi Look less and look me well boy (well boy) Galagala flow on the well boy My money like garri ijebu My money dey swell boy (swell boy)

A man has been arrested for choking his girlfriend in her sleep because she refused to hug during their vacation. According to Police in the United Kingdom, the 40-year-old man, Tom Johnson from Sheffield picked up a 200 hours of community service sentence after pleading guilty to assault for choking Rebecca Milton.

Popular Nogerian singer, BrymO has indicated interested to one day run for president of the federal republic of Nigeria.

YBNL chief executive, Olamide has finally opened up on details surrounding his viral hit single ‘Shakiti Bobo’. The singer who took over the airwaves with the May 2015 single told Tunde Kelani TV that he harped on a popular Yoruba nursery school rhyme which he heard growing up in Bariga, Lagos.

Suntrust Bank Limited has been granted operational license by the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN). This brings the number of commercial banks in the country to 23, and also represents the first fresh banking license issued by the CBN since 2001.

Manchester United strikers Wayne Rooney and Anthony Martial both returned to training on Tuesday ahead of their side’s Champions League home game with PSV Eindhoven.

The Department of State Services (DSS) on Monday requested a Wuse Zone 2 Senior Magistrates’ Court in Abuja to discontinue trial of Nnamdi Kanu, Director of Radio Biafra, charged with criminal conspiracy.

Ekiti State Governor Ayodele Fayose has said with the continued downward trend in the price of crude oil in the international market, except by God’s intervention, Nigerians should brace for more challenges next year.

The Transmission Company of Nigeria said the country achieved a new record peak generation of 4,883.9MW and the highest maximum daily energy delivery of 106,288.48MWH.

Huh?

This should be inspiring to everyone who come up with excuses to sell their bodies or do drugs on the streets of Lagos. You can actually make it the legit way. This little girl’s future is very bright.

If the authorities of the University of Ilorin accede to suggestions by members of the institution’s Drone Team, it is highly probable that the University will, in future, monitor examinations conducted within the campus with drones.

Your mind is one powerful part of you that you can't afford to toil with. Don't be surprised if I say that your mind is the architect of everything you do or achieve in life.

Sergio Ramos and Marcelo have been left out of the Real Madrid squad for Wednesday's Champions League trip to Shakhtar Donetsk.

Arsenal midfielder Francis Coquelin is expected to be ruled out until at least January after suffering ligament damage to his knee.

Inter is monitoring Hatem Ben Arfa, whose contract is expiring in next June. Nerazzurri could make a move for him in next January.

Manchester City’s Kelechi Iheanacho has been ruled out of the 2015 African U23 Championship in Senegal, coach Samson Siasia has revealed.

Thousands of supporters and sympathisers on Monday thronged Ogbonicha, the home town of Prince Abubakar Audu in Kogi State, to witness the burial of the All Progressives Congress governorship candidate, the News Agency of Nigeria reports.

The Lagos State Public Works Corporation (LSPWC) has intensified work on the reconstruction of the popular Brown Street in Oshodi as well as the Ejigbo-Ikotun road.

Speaking at press conference at which the Real Madrid president gave his full backing to under-fire coach Rafa Benitez, Florentino Perez has denied the club are looking to sell Cristiano Ronaldo in the summer transfer window.

President Muhammadu Buhari on Monday said the news of the death of the All Progressives Congress’ candidate in the inconclusive Kogi State governorship election devastated him.

A retired Director of the National Identity Management Commission (NIMC), Engr. Aliyu Azizi, has been appointed the Director General of the Commission by President Muhammadu Buhari.

Gianluigi Buffon believes Iker Casillas has been the best goalkeeper of his era but feels Peter Cech is the “most complete overall” over the past three years.

A Federal High Court in Lagos has sentenced a 25-year-old man, Rasheed Lawal, to 18 months imprisonment, over drug peddling. Lawal, a cobbler, resides at Ibeju-Lekki in Lagos.

The Police in Abia State have foiled an attempt to kidnap a businessman and killed four gunmen at Uratta community in Isiala Ngwa North Local Government of the state.

The federal government has said that low food production is bitting harder into Nigeria’s Economy, leading to increase in poverty. It said this is not far fetched from incidence of climate change and the underperforming Agricultural sector in the country.

Zinedine Zidane has dismissed talk of him replacing Rafael Benitez as Real Madrid coach after the humiliating 4-0 defeat at home to Barcelona.

The governorship candidate of the All Progressive Congress, APC, in the Saturday Governorship election in Kogi State, Prince Abubakar Audu, has been confirmed dead.

Former Nigerian president, Goodluck Jonathan who celebrated his 58th birthday yesterday, November 20, got a birthday wish from Nigerian politician, businessman and philanthropist, Atiku Abubakar earlier in the day. Earlier in the day, Atiku took to his Facebook account saying: “Happy birthday Dr. Goodluck Jonathan, our former president, democrat and patriot. Wishing you many happy returns.” As if that was not enough, he went further to his twitter account, sending the same message. See his posts below:

Nigeria's former minister of petroleum, Diezani Alison-Madueke, in the concluding part of her interview with Dele Momodu insists she's innocent of the allegations leveled against her.

Nigeria's former petroleum minister, Diezani Alison-Madueke, has opened up about her experiences being a cancer patient.

Former Barcelona star Rivaldo believes now is the time for Real Madrid to make Zinedine Zidane their head coach. Rafael Benitez is under mounting pressure despite only taking charge in June, with a 4-0 Clasico thrashing at home to Liga leaders Barca on Saturday casting further doubt over his future.

Edo State Governor, Comrade Adams Oshiomhole, has said that he would handover to a governor who has passion for the state and elected on the platform of the All Progressive Congress (APC).

The Kwara State Government said a total of 767,200 children (ages 1-5years), would be vaccinated against measles disease in the ongoing nation wide immunisation exercise.

Liberia has placed 153 people under surveillance as it seeks to control a new Ebola outbreak in the capital more than two months after the country was declared free of the virus, health officials said.

The candidate of the All Progressives Congress, Abubakar Audu, has emerged winner of the Kogi State Governorship election held on Saturday.

Sunshine Queens of Akure claimed the 2015 Women’s Federation Cup on Sunday at the Teslim Balogun Stadium following a 3-1 penalty shootout victory against Bayelsa Queens.

A Singapore Airlines (SIA) flight from San Francisco via Hong Kong received a bomb threat but arrived without incident in Singapore on Sunday, police said.

A suicide bomber has killed at least seven people in a transit camp in Maiduguri, the Borno State capital. The National Emergency Management Agency sources said the explosive was reportedly detonated by a female suicide bomber evacuated to the capital city alongside other displaced persons from Dikwa local council.

Reports claim that Zinedine Zidane will be asked to replace Rafa Benitez if the current Madrid boss loses El Clasico. Zidane is reluctant to take over a team mid-season, but club chief Florentino Perez will try to convince him otherwise.

Sergio Aguero's first-half strike against Liverpool has seen him leapfrog Carlos Tevez to become the Premier League's highest-scoring South American.

Mikel Arteta's own goal consigned Arsenal to a 2-1 defeat against West Brom that gives Manchester City the chance to take sole ownership of top spot in the Premier League.

UEFA president, Mitchel Platini risks being banned from all football related activities in FIFA's latest investigations which is to be released in the coming week. The former Juventus player along with his FIFA outgoing president, Sepp Blatter are currently serving a 90-day suspension, for the period both would be investigated, and results will be made known to the world. The sanctions for the FIFA and UEFA presidents respectively will be revealed in the coming weeks.

Nigeria's Chief of Defence Staff, Abayomi Olonishakin, has admitted that a number of Nigerian soldiers went missing after a fierce gunfight with Boko Haram insurgents.

Nigeria's vice president Yemi Osinbajo, has called on agitators for the sovereign state of Biafra to desist from their protest or face the wrath of the land.

During the exam, the person that didn’t prepare will just be calculating how many units he would do next year..

Fountain University, Osogbo has been closed down indefinitely and students sent home after they went on rampage.

Mr Usman Dutse has been elected the new president of the Academic Staff Union of Polytechnics (ASUP). He will succeed Mr Chibuzo Asomugba. It was learnt that Dutse was declared winner at the 13th National Delegate Conference in Bida, Niger State by the ASUP Electoral Committee Chairman, Mr Precious Nwakodo.

An 18-year-old student, Saka Hammed, on Friday appeared in an Ebute Metta Chief Magistrates’ Court, Lagos, for allegedly pushing and killing a classmate after an argument.

Manchester United went top of the Premier League, at least until the day’s later matches, when they won 2-1 at Watford on Saturday after the hosts’ Troy Deeney equalised with a penalty and then scored an own goal in the dying minutes.

Google Maps in Nigeria’s new added feature shows traffic conditions in real time, represented by three colour codes: Green, Orange and Red. Green portrays a free flow of traffic; orange means the traffic is not so bad; and red indicates terrible traffic flow.

World number one Novak Djokovic beat the resurgent Rafael Nadal 6-3, 6-3 in their World Tour Finals semi-final clash on Saturday. Serbia’s Djokovic will play either Roger Federer or his Swiss compatriot Stan Wawrinka, the French Open champion, in Sunday’s final.

South African rapper, AKA has inked a headphones and speaker deal with ‘Rocka’ and is set to unveil his own line of the luxury speakers.

Dear Mike, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your Daddy read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 5 kilometres away from our home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn’t have to change their address. This place is really nice. I even have a washing machine. I’m not sure it works so well, though, last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven’t seen it since. The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week, the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send, your Mummy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Emeka locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your Daddy out. Your sis...

Akpors and his father were visiting the shopping mall for the first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. Akpors asked his father, AKPORS: “Daddy what is this?” His father [never having seen an elevator] responded; DAD: “Akpors, I have never seen anything like this in my life before, I don’t know what it is.” While Akpors and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old woman of 72 years of age walked towards the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the woman rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and Akpors and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful young woman of 22 years of age stepped out. Akpors’ father said to him, DAD: “Run fast, go and bring your mother.”

Three black men, Akpors and co were getting ready to take a plane trip for the first time. FIRST MAN: “I don’t know about the two of you but I am going to wear some pink boxers before I get on that plane.” AKPORS AND THE OTHER GUY:’Why are you going to wear them?’. FIRST MAN: “Because, if that plane crashes, and I’m out there lying down, they are going to find me first.” SECOND MAN: “Well, I am going to wear some orange boxers.” AKPORS AND THE OTHER GUY: Why are you going to wear them?” They asked. SECOND MAN: “Because if the plane crashes, and I’m floating with my buttocks up in the ocean, they will see me first.” AKPORS: “Well, I am not going to wear any boxers.” THE OTHER GUYS: “What? No boxers?” They asked in disbelief. AKPORS: “That’s right honourables, you heard me right. I am not going to wear any boxers because if this plane crashes, they will look for the black box first.”

Twenty Indian nationals are among the hostages being held at the luxury Radisson Blu hotel in Mali’s capital Bamako, an Indian foreign ministry spokesperson said on Friday.