Wednesday, 23 December 2015

STORY: Man Wey Dey Reason…Part 8

Night fell gradually.
“make we go Paapa place na” Man said. “who be
Paapa?” I inquired. “no worry if we reach there u go
know” Man answered the same way he answered
when he was asked who Obele was.

The guy called Man, so much loved suspence, it
pisses me off. “i no want person wey go cut my
p’rick oh, like Obele do oh” i tot. “i go follow una go
Paapa place oh, make una wait for me oh” Snoop
shouted from outside.
As we were about leaving the house, someone
came in. MOG was his name.
“MOG!! MOG!!” we hailed. “God bless you guys” he
responded (his usual response when two or more
persons greets or cheers him).
MOG!! Aaaaah MOG!!. MOG was a short form for
Man of God. He was a junior Pastor in our church.
What i loved about him was that he was very
prayerful. What i disliked about him was that he
loved begging for money from his brethren and
even outsiders. If he wanted money from anyone,
he would simply preach to the person, and at the
end of his preaching he would say; “help the
ministry with anything, nothing is too big”. He
hardly says “nothing is too small”, because he was
wise enough to know that if he said that, he would
be given peanuts. If you say he converts the Bible
to a gun and uses it to rob people all in the name
of “the gospel”, you wouldn’t be far from the truth.
He hardly lacked money because “na where man
dey work, na there him dey chop”.
“where are u guys going to?” MOG asked. “we dey
go buy groundnut and bread wey we go chop” Man
told a big fat lie. “u guys should buy for me also, i
am very hungry, and am passing the night here”
MOG informed.
Or was groundnut and bread the code name of
what we were going to do at Paapa’s place? Only
time would tell.
“wetin we dey go do for Paapa place?” i asked as
we were walking down the street. “we dey go take
igboh for there, shebi una dey smoke igboh?” Snoop
inquired. “i no dey smoke igboh oh, i no need my
brain to die oh, i need am well well oh” Brainbox
said. “so we wey dey smoke, our brain go die?”
Man queried. “na una sabi na, me i don dey go
back house, i think say na food una wan go chop
for Paapa place nahim make me follow una”
Brainbox said and left. Sure, as an award winning
con artist he was, he really needed his brain to
always be at alert.
Paapa’s place was really a hideout for weed
smokers. Not only that, it was also a joint where u
could find several cultist from different cults.
“make police no come here come pack all of us
oh” i tot as i continued smoking. It was as if Snoop
read my mind, he said, “Flow no fear oh, here na
Government approved Igboh Joint”.
“Man, something wey be like Ant dey waka for my
chest oh, abi na the Tea wey i take?” i whispered
to Man as i was puffing from my second Jumbo.
“naso Tea dey do na, u no sabi say na ur chest ur
heart dey, the Tea dey pump blood comot for ur
chest go other part of ur body, na the blood wey go
give ur body the strength wey u go use do
kponkpon work Tommorow” Man explained.
“How u take know all dis things sef? U be Doctor?”
i said to Man. “i be Doctor na, Doctor of kponkpon”
he responded.
Just then, Tupac and Bigie came in. I saw from the
corner of my eyes that the both of them anchored
Snoop. Not a baggas anchor, but a anchor, “so
Tupac, Bigie and Snoop be Ave Maria? So dem dey
play Egede?”.
I almost joined the black brothers movement when
i was in sch. But why i didn’t join was because,
guys in that cult were mostly robbers. Some were
pilferers, others were pick pockets, while some
others had matured to become highway robbers.
But i was sure Tupac, Snoop and Bigie were not
robbers, not knowing one of them was already a
household name for pilfering.
To Be Continued…
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