Tuesday, 22 December 2015

STORY: Man Wey Dey Reason…Part 4

“Everybody, how was ur night?” Pkc asked the next
morning, “mine was disastrious” i said out of my
mind’s mouth.
“its time for morning devotion, Flow would lead us
in praise and worship while Man would lead us in
prayers” Pkc said, “why me na, i no get voice oh,
the mess wey Baba jay give me chop last nite don
make my voice dry oh” i almost said.
“worthy, u are worthy, king of kings lord of lords, u
are worthy” i began. I sang one song for 5minutes
before i could think of another song. I totally forgot
songs, my brain went blank.
Now it was time for prayers. Funniest prayer ever.
“Baba God, how far, how heaven today” Man
began, “thank u for the match wey Chelsea win
yesterday, Baba God i say make i ask u oh, shey u
be Chelsea fan?” he continued, “Baba, i thank u say
me and my guys dey alive to see today, Baba give
me strength as i dey go mix rice and beans today,
in Jesus name” he concluded “Amen!” we
responded. “Man wey dey reason!!” they cheered
him. I couldn’t help but laugh at such a prayer, but
i promised myself i would later ask him the
meaning of “mix rice and beans”. “Man u need to
learn how to pray oh, that thing u just did now is
no prayer” Pkc said.
“if any of una wan carry woman come house, how
him go do am?” i asked Snoop as we sat outside
discussing that morning. “guy we dey carry am go
Tupac and Bigie room” he responded pointing at a
room at the extreme of the lodge. “we no dey let
Pkc know oh, because if him know, him go vex well
well, him no dey like dat kin thing” Snoop added.
“make we go there make Tupac and Bigie see u
and Brainbox” Snoop said. As we walked towards
Tupac and Bigie’s room, i saw from the corner of
my eyes that, Tega and Man were going out, so
Snoop asked, “Tega u dey travel?”, because Tega
was holding a bag. “yes, i wan enter warri” Tega
responded. There was no need to ask Man where
he was going to, it was obvious he wanted to go
mix rice and beans.
“Man, how far you don come back?” Baba Jay said
that evening. “ehn i don come, food dey house?”
Man asked, “food no dey oh, na Golden Morn we
drink” Snoop responded. When he said Golden
Morn, he never meant Nestle Golden Morn, he
meant Garri Golden Morn. When u drink Garri in
that house, you would simply say u drank Golden
Morn. It was the code name. I came to realize that
there were so many code names that i needed to
know their meanings. Code names like; mix rice
and beans.
“ehen, Man wetin be the meaning of mix rice and
beans sef?” i asked. “mix rice and beans mean say
to mix cement and gravel a.k.a to carry kponkpon”
Man said. “so na kponkpon work u dey do?”
Brainbox said, “yes oh, and the thing dey give me
money no be small, sometimes na me dey feed dis
house na” He added. “nahim u no tell us make we
follow u go?” i said. “i don tell Baba jay and snoop
before na, Baba jay say him too old for dat kin job,
snoop say him no fit carry kponkpon for dis him
fine hair wey him plait” Man said.
“guy we go follow u go tommorow oh” I said. “una
fit work? No be small work oh?” Man cautioned. “na
me be Brainbox wey get power, and dis my guy na
super Flow, u no see him chest?” Brainbox said
pointing at my broad chest.
Ozimmiri lodge was more of a family house than a
students hotel. Small but mighty. Our neighbours
Mama and Papa Ejima; The young couple that had
a Four year old identical twin boys; Daniel and
David. Mama Ejima was so beautiful that the
moment i saw her i instantly had a crush on her,
but i dare not make any move because her
husband was a heavy weight boxer.
Mama Ejima was not as beautiful as Kate. The
delectable Drop dead gorgeous Kate. She was so
S’exy that the sight of her “mouth watering” a’ss
from a distance could make not only one d’ick, but
several d’ick to doff their hats, not to talk of her
coming close, “u go just release”. She was our next
door neighbour. She was very S’exy, but no guy in
the compound dare asked her out because she was
the perfect description of “u can admire but u can
have”. She was a “runs” babe that deals mainly on
Sugardaddies, “she no even get our time sef”. I
was told the whole guys(except Pkc) went on a
bet that whoever would sleep with her would
recieve 5k each from other guys. I and Brainbox
joined in the bet because we were sure no guy
from that compound would see Kate’s panties, not
even in dream world. Or so i tot.
Another neighbour we had was Tupac and Bigie.
These two guys had stuck to each other like bee to
nectar right from their childhood days. They
attended the same primary, secondary and higher
institution, and they were still staying together
searching for job. If i was told that they were the
reincarnation of American rappers, Tupac and
Biggie, i would believe, because they really looked
like them. Infact their lives were just the picture
perfect lives of Tupac and Biggie, because
inasmuch as they were close friends and roomates,
they were always at loggerheads. I only wished a
“Faith Evans” wouldn’t walk into their lives pretty
To be continued..
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