Tuesday, 22 December 2015

STORY: Man Wey Dey Reason…Part 1

“Aro rugged you, how far?” i said “anchoring” KC
with a frown on my face, “dis one wey ur face dey
like dis, Prof Nwosu don nak u home and away?”

Kc asked. “how u take know? guy him nak me
home and away oh, what of u?” i asked, “guy my
own na only away him nak me oh” Kc answered.
“so we go stay for this town for another one year
be dat?” I said. “naso oh, our mate go serve finish,
we go still dey sch.” Kc added.
Home and away was a slang we used in our
department to refer to double failure. First of all,
“Home” means if a lecturer is handling two courses
(1st and 2nd semester) and you fail the first
semester course, that means; “the Lecturer don
nak u home”. If you fail the second semester
course, that means; “the Lecturer don nak u away”.
But if u fail both courses, that means; “the
Lecturer don nak u home and away”. In my case,
the lecturer “nak” me home and away, Phy411 and
“u get where u go dey stay?” i asked Kc. “i no get
oh, i go dey come from Port-harcout, i go dey
come once in a week” He responded. “me i dey
stay with my cousin for Nekede, i go dey come
anytime wey dem get lecture oh, u no say that Prof
wicked, and him dey serious with attendance” I
said. “him suppose consider us wey be spill over
students na” Kc said. “u no know that man, set
before our set wey get spill over dey come lecture,
na God go save us oh” I said as we walked out of
the sch compound.
“guy find me even if na 100 bucks make i take
enter bus go Nekede na” I said. “take, manage am,
na 50 bucks i get” Kc said offering me a worn out
50naira note. “u don try, u be correct man, half loaf
of Agege bread is better than chin-chin” i said as i
collected the money.
If there was one thing i seriously lacked lately, that
thing was Money. Even 50naira was a huge amout
of money to me.
I “anchored” Kc and walked slowly to where i
would board a bus. What i never knew was that a
bad news was waiting to be told at home.
“guy how far, chaw dey house? because the worm
wey dey my belle don chop my intestine finish oh” i
said to Brain Box as i got home. “guy chaw no dey
house oh, we dey wait make u come sef before we
go arrange chaw” Brain Box responded.(chaw was
a slang for food) “because na me be una Mama
na?” i said. “guy no be so oh, Tochiba no get
money and me sef no get money” Brain Box
Just then, Tochiba walked in and said, “our landlord
come today oh. Him say make we pack comot for
dis house oh, him say him give us from now to
next week Tuesday to pack comot oh”.
My bad!! i forgot to introduce my friends!! Brain box
was a boy from Mbaise. His brain was his most
priceless asset. In Nigeria, the most cunny set of
human beings are from Mbaise in Imo state. An ibo
Musician once sang that, “if u are in a room where
an Mbaise man and a snake is, first kill the Mbaise
man before u kill the snake, because the Mbaise
man is more dangerous than the snake”. Dangerous
was the perfect word to describe Brain Box,
sometimes he even scares me. His cunny nature
fetched him the name Brain Box. He can even
decieve the wisest of men. If i said he was an
award winning dangerous con artist, i wasn’t far
from the truth. Brain box also had spill over, but
not in my sch.
While Tochiba was my cousin, he was trained in
Alluminium roofing and window assembling. His
real name was Tochi, but he preffered to be called
They were both the roomates i had. I loved them
so much. But what i never knew was that we
would soon be divided.
To Be Continued…
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