Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Breakfast Jokes With Johnny...

Akpors played Nairabet and won N20million naira. So he went to claim his money
AKPORS: “I want my 20 million naira.”
MAN: We will give you one million naira today. You will get the rest within the next 2 years.
Akpors said, “Gimme my money now! I won it, and I want it now!”
Akpors got furious and shouted, “If you are not going to give me my 20 million naira now, then give me back my N100!”
One word for Akpors this time?


---

I dey my own jeje this morning oh!! Mtn come send me message say you have
just won 7 FREE days of amazing fact SMS….
Since it was free now, I said no problem… So I sat down, hoping to receive
some mind blowing facts… But I was so shocked when I started receiving the
facts…
(The first one came in..)
*Do you know that Nigeria is a country in Africa?
(Followed by the second one)
*Do you know that we get meat from animals?
(I open my mouth in shock… Then the third one)
*Do you know that fishes cant fly?
Then i looked at my phone, I smiled and said, Ehen!!! So una think say Na only
una sabi fact abi… So I started sending them my own too….
* Do you know that you can’t sit down and stand at the same time?
* Do you know that the place you go to buy food stuffs is called a market?
*Do you know that if you stay under a swimming pool for more than 10sec you
will get wet?
* Do you know that in 1993 two kids went to a river and saw a lot of water?
* Do you know that when you look at the mirror, the person you see in the
mirror is still you?
*Do you know that cows don’t give us milk, we take it from them by force?
*Do you know that Abacha was alive before he died?
*Do you know that orphans don’t have father and mother?
*Do you know that scientists have proven that Dwarfs are short people?
Abeg help me add your own…

---

This Lagos sef don tire me. Jeje I was sitting in my car on a very long fuel queue from the Mobil in Maryland. This queue was almost getting to Anthony bus stop. It was one of those days when there was no fuel at all. Suddenly na him I see one guy run past my car with jerry can in one hand shouting “won ti bere oooooo”I quickly jumped out of my car opened my booth, got my jerry can and ran after him. He kept on running towards Maryland. When he got to the filling station he shouted again “won ti bere oooo” this in yoruba actually means ‘they have started oooooo’. He ran past the filling station and headed towards Sheraton hotel. Those that know this area will understand the distance. I tried to run faster to catch up and ask Kini won bere? Meaning “what have they started?” But this boy ran faster. I looked back and I saw like 6 people had joined us everybody with jerry can in one hand. We continued past Sheraton and headed towards Ikeja bus stop. When we got to Ikeja bus stop he shouted again “won ti bere oooooo”…and continued running we all continued asking each other ‘wetin happen’ but nobody seemed to know as we chased after him. Finally we got to oshodi isale and he shouted again by this time we were like 40 people running after him all of us with jerry can in one hand. He shouted again ‘won ti bere oooooo!!!!!!’ He continued running towards iyana Isolo and finally after getting to iyana Isolo he stopped and we were all gasping for breath both men and women, some with pot bellies, I moved close to him and asked “Kini won bere?” He answered Chelsea ati Arsenal ni, won ti bere match!! I fainted.

Post a Comment